Mike Pence Is the Dog Who Caught the Car

Now that Roe's been axed, what reason is there to vote for the former White House doormat?

manez, albania   20220623 vice president mike pence speaks at a meeting in ashraf 3, home to thousands of members of the principal iranian opposition movement, the mujahedin e khalq pmoimek views were exchanged on the objective conditions in iranian society, the ncri alternative and the international community’s approach to religious fascism ruling iran photo by siavosh hosseinisopa imageslightrocket via getty images
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(Permanent Musical Accompaniment For The Last Post Of The Week From The Blog’s Favourite Living Canadian)

WASHINGTON—It was a weird day in Washington establishment circles on Friday, when Roe v. Wade breathed its last breath. The Senate had adjourned, so all those people who'd voted in the justices who did the deed were pretty much out of town. The House of Representatives, however, was still in session, because they were passing the bipartisan gun reform bill. So, along with some other notables, they were the only game in town for on-the-spot commentary. Here’s a sample, via the Washington Post:

Speaker Nancy Pelosi: The Republicans are plotting a nationwide abortion ban. They cannot be allowed to have majority in the Congress to do that. That’s their goal.”

Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy: “Every unborn child is precious, extraordinary, and worthy of protection. I applaud this historic ruling, which will save countless innocent lives. The Court is right to return the power to protect the unborn to the people’s elected representatives in Congress and the states.”

Public Nutball Marjorie Taylor Greene: “That’s great! It’s a blessing, I have prayed for this my whole life.”

Attorney General Merrick Garland: “The Justice Department strongly disagrees with the Court’s decision. This decision deals a devastating blow to reproductive freedom in the United States. It will have an immediate and irreversible impact on the lives of people across the country. And it will be greatly disproportionate in its effect—with the greatest burdens felt by people of color and those of limited financial means.”

Former White House Doormat Mike Pence: “Today, Life Won. By overturning Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court of the United States has given the American people a new beginning for life and I commend the Justices in the majority for having the courage of their convictions.”

(Ed. Note: There is now literally no reason ever to vote for Mike Pence. This is all he ever had. He’s the dog who caught the car.)

Mississippi Senator and Confederate Cosplayer Cindy Hyde-Smith: “Roe v. Wade has been a terrible strain on our nation for too long. I am grateful to God for His divine guidance in the Supreme Court's decision on Dobbs.

And so on, and so forth, into the night.

One of the most idiotic talking points that the Republicans have against the House Select Committee on January 6 is that it is partisan. It’s not. There are two Republicans on it, and there could have been more, but Kevin McCarthy bailed because Nancy Pelosi refused to accept jacket-less bedbug Jim Jordan, whom McCarthy wanted to add to the committee. At a hearing earlier this week, as the House Oversight Committee examined the hostile work environment at the Washington NFL franchise, we saw what might have happened had McCarthy gotten his way. Jordan blubbered at NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell about why he’d been so mean to the Barstool Sports guy. North Carolina Rep. Virginia Foxx led off like this:

This administration is doing all it can to annihilate America. it's like Nero fiddling while the country burns. It's been reported approximately 72% of Americans think the United States is on the wrong track. Madame Chairwoman, with unanimous consent I would like to submit this news poll for the record. Are we looking into what caused the 40-year inflation rate and how administration failed to address the baby formula shortage? No. Are we examining how and why people are purchasing illicit drugs on social media leading to a record number of overdoses? No. What about the crisis at the southern border, are we doing anything to address the massive humanitarian and national security catastrophes? No.

Can you imagine what those public hearings would have been like with the likes of Jordan and Foxx bellyaching that the investigation is occurring at all? I don’t like to think about it.

washington, dc   june 23 us rep jim jordan r oh speaks during a hearing before house select subcommittee on the coronavirus crisis at rayburn house office building june 23, 2022 on capitol hill in washington, dc the subcommittee held a hearing to examine the trump administration’s handling in the nation’s coronavirus response photo by alex wonggetty images
Yeah, what the committee really needs is Jim Jordan.
Alex WongGetty Images

Weekly WWOZ Pick To Click: “When The Bus Goes By” (Robert Eustis): Yeah, I pretty much still love New Orleans.

Weekly Visit To The Pathe Archives: Here, from 1967, Yvette Diago, the third wife of Rep. Adam Clayton Powell, testifies before a House committee and does her estranged husband no particular favors. She was accused of having had a no-show job while they were married. From Time, 2/24/67:

Mrs. Powell also opened the way to further investigation of her husband by testifying that he handled all their financial affairs and that for the past two years, at least, she had not signed their joint income tax returns. Powell's New York State return for 1965 was already part of the committee record. It was a joint form listing $60,381 in combined income—on which Powell had paid only $1,501 in state taxes, claiming that nearly two-thirds of their gross earnings was not subject to the state levy.

Your mouth says you don’t want to hurt me, but your testimony says, yes, yes, yes. History is so cool.

Is it a good day for dinosaur news, Newsweek? It’s always a good day for dinosaur news!

Scientists know a lot about the Maastrichtian as a whole, but only a few sites around the world preserve the very end of this period on land, skewing our knowledge of the dinosaurs that lived at this time…When it comes to the dinosaurs living at the end of the Maastrichtian, among the ones we know best from rocks in North America include the iconic Triceratops and Tyrannosaurus rex. Triceratops was a hefty, three-horned, herbivorous dinosaur that walked on four legs with a parrot-like beak and a large frill, which could measure around three feet across.
"Triceratops was one of the bulkiest of the horned dinosaurs, being similar in size to a modern elephant, and could be recognized by its distinctive three horns and the extensive bony frill forming the back of its skull," Thomas Cullen, a postdoctoral fellow at Canada's Carleton University and research associate at the Field Museum of Natural History, told Newsweek.

Well, at least it was usually a fair fight. Until the asteroid showed up, of course, leaving them all scattered around then to make us happy now.

I’ll be back Monday to take stock of further mischief. Be well and play nice, ya bastids. Stay above the snake-line, wear the damn mask, take the damn shots, especially the damn boosters, and spare a moment to think about the people of Ukraine.

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